Emotions can be overwhelming for both children and adults. At times, they feel all-consuming and unending, leading to frustration and challenging behaviors. It’s essential to acknowledge that all emotions are valid, including your own. By validating and showing children that their emotions matter, we help them understand and express their feelings in healthier ways.
When emotions grow too big, behaviors may escalate. While the instinct may be to try to “control” the situation, control isn’t always the best solution. Instead, using strategies that work for both you and the children involved can reduce those overwhelming feelings. One approach is offering choices when it makes sense (e.g., “Do you want the blue cup or the red cup?”). This can empower children by giving them a sense of control over their world, helping them feel both heard and seen.
Challenging behavior often stems from emotions that have become too big to handle. One important thing to remember is that all behavior is communication! It can, however, become challenging when it interferes with a child’s learning, development, or play, poses a risk to others, or leads to social or academic struggles. Understanding the function of a behavior is key. When a child’s behavior becomes more physical, redirecting their energy to alternative activities (e.g., pushing against a wall instead of a person) and offering calm, supportive language can lead to positive emotional regulation.
One example is biting. Biting is a common behavior in early childhood and is developmentally expected as children learn to express and regulate their emotions. By modeling language and offering alternatives, such as teethers or cloths, the urge to bite can decrease as their ability to communicate grows.
Strategies for Managing Challenging Behaviors:
- Validate all emotions: Children need to feel seen, heard, and understood. A simple “I understand” or “It’s hard” can help decrease stress and anxiety.
- Offer choices: When children feel out of control, offering choices (e.g., picking between two shirts) gives them a sense of autonomy and reduces resistance.
- Practice co-regulation: Help children calm themselves by modeling how to handle big emotions. Teaching strategies like deep breathing or creating calming spaces can help children regulate their emotions.
When we practice these strategies with children, we not only help them in the moment but also support their ability to self-regulate as they grow.
For more information on managing challenging behaviors, visit these resources:
