Separation Anxiety 

photo of a blond child in a yellow shirt hugging their grownup, also wearing a yellow shirt. The child looks anxious and like they don't want to let go of their grown up.

Separation Anxiety 

Separation anxiety is a natural part of child development and can occur at different stages, especially when new routines or environments are introduced. Whether a child is starting child care, entering kindergarten, or joining a new program, separation can be challenging for both the child and the caring adults in their life. The good news is that there are ways to help everyone feel more confident during these transitions.

Practice Being Apart

Before a big transition, give the child a chance to practice being apart from you. Schedule short periods of time with trusted adults such as family members or friends. Even one hour can help the child begin to build comfort and confidence. Practicing a goodbye routine during these moments can also help prepare for longer separations later on.

Create Quick Goodbye Rituals

Keep your goodbye short and consistent. A simple ritual such as a triple kiss, two big hugs, or a personalized hand gesture can provide comfort and predictability. Lingering goodbyes can make the transition harder for both you and the child, so keeping it brief helps everyone adjust more easily.

Be Calm and Consistent

Children thrive on routine. When possible, try to maintain the same drop-off and pick-up times each day. Consistency helps build trust, reduces anxiety, and allows the child to understand what to expect. When the caring adult remains calm and confident, the child feels more secure in their new environment.

Use Visual Supports

Visuals can be powerful tools for helping children understand routines and transitions. Talk with the child’s educator or caregiver about what visual supports are available in their program. A visual schedule, story about going to child care, or a photo from home can all provide reassurance and help the child adjust.

Remember Your Own Emotions

Transitions can be stressful for adults, too. A child may sense your emotions, so it is important to take care of yourself during this time. Feeling confident in the arrangements you’ve made helps ease everyone’s stress. Show excitement about the upcoming change, and the child will follow your lead.

Separation anxiety is entirely normal and can be an opportunity for growth. With patience, consistency, and reassurance, the child will begin to feel safe, capable, and ready to explore their new environment.

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